Dr Rob answers your sex & general medical questions

Dr Rob Hicks is one of the UK’s most prominent media doctors. A practising GP, he also works in a hospital sexual health clinic. Rob is a very popular radio doctor and also appears regularly on television.  

A prolific health writer and medical journalist, he has columns in Reader's Digest, Men’s Fitness and Prima Baby magazines. Rob is the author of two books – 'Control your blood pressure: Keeping a lid on hypertension' and 'Beat your allergies: Find relief, feel free'. Rob lives in London with his family.  

Pregnancy concerns 

17 weeks pregnant and suffering from terrible migraines

How might diabetes affect my sugar levels in pregnancy?

How should you handle food poisoning in pregnancy?

Will I develop pre-eclampsia again?

Post-pregnancy concerns  

How can I heal the split in my stomach wall?

Is it normal to be numb eight months after a C-section?

Why is my womb pulsing?

Is the Pill causing me to bleed?

Could I be pregnant again just weeks after giving birth?

How soon after giving birth can I have the contraceptive injection?

Sex and relationships

Why has my partner cooled since we had a baby?

All we've done is argue since the baby arrived

My boyfriend doesn't want sex now I'm pregnant

Giving birth has put me off sex

17 weeks pregnant and suffering from terrible migraines

Dr Rob says: it’s best to consult your GP to confirm that the headaches are migraines and not a different type of headache occurring in pregnancy. Your GP should offer advice about which treatments are safe, for example paracetamol, to take in pregnancy.

With regards migraine it’s important to identify and avoid any triggers, and to ensure that you eat regularly throughout the day because missing meals is a common trigger for many people who suffer migraine. Also try to keep your stress levels under control as much as possible and try to avoid getting over-tired.

How might diabetes affect my sugar levels in pregnancy?

I'm 23 and was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes just over two years ago. Me and my partner have started trying for a baby but I am concerned about how my condition could affect my sugar levels etc if I fall pregnant.

Dr Rob says: It’s very important that you have a consultation with your diabetes specialist to discuss your plans to fall pregnant before actually doing so. Pregnancy can affect sugar levels, making them sometimes more difficult to control. Diabetes is also associated with a greater risk of problems for the pregnant woman and her unborn child. However, these risks can be reduced by keeping blood sugar under good control before falling pregnant and during pregnancy.

Discussing your plans with your diabetes specialist beforehand will enable you to receive appropriate advice on how to achieve good sugar control before and after you fall pregnant. He os she will also be able to advise you on how your insulin needs may change when you are pregnant, how often you need to check your sugar levels and, if you are taking any medication, whether it is safe to continue in pregnancy or whether it needs to be switched to a suitable alternative.

Unless advised otherwise, women with diabetes considering pregnancy should take a five mg dose of folic acid each day before falling pregnant and for the first 12 weeks of pregnancy.

Be reassured that many women with diabetes have problem-free pregnancies and deliver healthy babies. Diabetes needs good monitoring and control. In pregnancy it needs a little bit extra.

Will I develop pre-eclampsia again?

I had very severe pre-eclampsia and high blood pressure with my first baby which was delivered by C-section at 36 weeks. It affected my liver function and it took a year to recover. Luckily my baby is very healthy and so am I now. My husband and I want to try for a second but because I was so ill we're a little bit scared.

Dr Rob says: it’s perfectly understandable that you and your husband are concerned about what might happen if you become pregnant again, as it’s true that women who have already had pre-eclampsia are at greater risk of developing it again. However, what is also true is that most women do not develop it again in subsequent pregnancies, and have a healthy pregnancy and baby.

You might find it helpful to have a consultation with an obstetrician before trying to fall pregnant to establish what your particular risk might be and what the ‘do’s and don’ts’ are.

Once pregnant you should be under the care of an obstetrician who will be able to monitor you closely and may recommend treatment to lessen the likelihood of you developing pre-eclampsia again.

How can I heal the split in my stomach wall?

I had baby 17 months ago (emergency Caesarean as undiagnosed breech). I have only recently been referred to physio who said I had a ten cm split in my stomach wall which could be reduced slightly by physiotherapy. I just wanted to know if physio works and it is just a matter of being very patient or if there are any other solutions?

Dr Rob says: it’s fairly common for the abdominal muscles to separate during pregnancy to accommodate the growing baby – known medically as diastasis recti. The two rectus abdominis muscles run vertically from the top to the bottom of the abdomen, separated in the middle by a band of tissue. These two muscles don’t actually tear or rupture but are pushed apart into left and right halves – imagine a child hiding behind closed curtains and then leaning into the middle where the curtains join next to each other, this will push the two curtains apart, but shouldn’t damage them.

The problem you have often recovers of its own accord but appropriate exercises, ideally taught by a physiotherapist who specialises in this complaint, are also recommended.

Is it normal to be numb eight months after a C-section?

Dr Rob says: yes, it is normal for the numbness, caused by having to cut through tiny nerve fibres when performing a C-section, to persist for months, sometimes even years. For most women sensation returns in time once the nerves have re-grown.

Why is my womb pulsing?

Dr Rob says: if this feeling continues, or you have other symptoms too such as cystitis-like symptoms, fever, pain or nausea, then it would be wise to get checked out. It could be your body getting back to normal, or it could be a muscle strain - from lifting something, for instance. It may also be wind or caused by constipation. If it persists, have a check-up.

Is the Pill causing me to bleed?

Dr Rob says: this is probably normal but you should have a word with the doctor to be sure, particularly if you have any other symptoms such as a fever. Is there any chance you could have fallen pregnant since giving birth to your baby? Your symptoms may be related to the type of Pill you’re taking but this could be a period and it’s just coincidence that it’s happened a few days after starting the Pill.

How should you handle food poisoning in pregnancy?

Dr Rob says: It’s important to avoid food poisoning in pregnancy. However, if you do get it, it's vital that you drink plenty of fluids to avoid dehydration. It’s no longer advised to ‘starve’ yourself when suffering from a bout of food poisoning - trying to eat as normally as possible is now recommended. Bland foods in small amounts are usually more easily tolerated when the stomach is sensitive.

It often helps to wait about an hour after being sick before trying to eat. Don’t use any medication without first checking that it’s safe in pregnancy. It’s wise to consult your doctor to discuss whether tests to identify the type of infection are needed, as sometimes specific medication may be recommended.

Practising good food preparation and high standards of food and personal hygiene, and avoiding high-risk foods including pate, processed and cold meats and soft cheeses, for example, will help avoid food poisoning.

Why has my partner cooled since we had a baby?

My partner doesn’t seem to care how I feel. He's a great dad, but he isn’t there for me. I do everything I can to keep him happy but he can’t do the same for me. I don’t want much – just to feel loved. When the baby is asleep I just want to cuddle up to him and see where that leads but he won't come near me. I’m insecure about myself anyway; he doesn’t make it any better. I feel like I’m better off on my own but I’m scared to be a single mum and I love him so much. I’ve tried to talk to him but nothing changes. I feel so alone.

Dr Rob says: this is a very difficult situation for you, and it sounds as though you are trying so hard to make things work.

I think that relationship counselling might help you both. Although this may feel like an impossible thing to do, it’s often easier for couples to talk ‘to’ and ‘through’ a third party who’s a stranger. If he won’t go, then counselling for yourself would be worth considering, or confiding in friends about how you are feeling. Talking does help, and means someone doesn’t feel so alone in situations like this.

Postnatal depression is a common problem for women, and men can be affected too. It’s worth asking your doctor whether this might be the case for you, and encouraging your partner to seek advice too. If this is at the root of the problem it can be treated.

I would also suggest that you pamper yourself, and don’t feel guilty about doing this as it will lift your spirits.

Be aware that fatherhood often takes its toll on dads too. Your partner may feel frightened that a cuddle may lead to something else that ends up with another child, which he may not be ready for. If that might be the case then make sure effective contraception is being used. If you have the opportunity to go out and spend time together then do so.

All we've done is argue since the baby arrived

I got on great with my partner until we had our first baby 15 weeks ago. Now all we do is argue. I don’t feel as though I have bonded with my son and have often thought about walking away from them. I love my partner to bits and can’t imagine life without him now but I don’t know what to do. My doctor diagnosed me with post-natal depression.

Dr Rob says: please don’t feel guilty about how you are feeling. This is being caused by postnatal depression and you are not to blame for this.

Be reassured that things will get better, and you will get back to normal so that you’re able to enjoy being a mum. You haven’t said whether your doctor recommended any treatment for your postnatal depression or not. Either way, it would be a good idea for you to consult your doctor again sooner rather than later and explain exactly how you are feeling. It might help if your partner went with you so he knows what he can do to help you get through this.

Don’t feel guilty about asking for and accepting help, particularly offers of help with your baby. Having time for yourself is important to get a rest and a break. Exercise helps to lift mood and overcome symptoms of postnatal depression so do whatever you can.

Once again, you mustn’t feel that you are to blame for the way you’re feeling because you’re not. Many women go through exactly the same thing you are going through and successfully overcome postnatal depression.

My boyfriend doesn't want sex now I'm pregnant

I think my boyfriend is going off sex with me since I became pregnant. It has been nearly a month now and we normally have a great sex life together. What can I do to help us get back to the way we used to be?

Dr Rob says: talk to him to find out why and to let him know how you’re feeling. You may be worrying unnecessarily. He may simply be busy or tired from work, and this, rather than his attraction to you, is the reason why he doesn’t seem interested in sex.

Another reason may be that learning he’s going to be a father has come as a shock and so as sex is the reason for this he’s been put off it a bit.

Many men are frightened they are going to harm an unborn child in the womb, or think that they can’t have sex with their partner when she’s pregnant. Reassure him your baby is safe and sex in pregnancy is OK unless you’ve been advised otherwise by your doctor or midwife.

Giving birth has put me off sex

Everytime my partner wants sex I feel so inadequate and fat that I really dread him coming near me. He tries to touch my intimate parts but it feels strange him trying to touch somewhere a baby came out of. I know I'm being silly but I can’t get it out of my head. My partner is trying to be patient but he says that if we were trying for another baby I’d be like a rampant rabbit. But we’re not, and I don’t think I could cope with another baby. My son is now nine months; when will I want to have sex again?

Dr Rob says: many women feel exactly the same as you. Sometimes it’s because of a physical discomfort down below that suppresses libido, other times it’s because of an emotional block related to a difficult birth, often it’s a bit of both. Fear of another pregnancy puts women off sex. You’re probably feeling exhausted, which would help explain why you’ve no interest is sex. An hour’s sleep will probably be more appealing. Looking after a baby is hard work, particularly if it’s mostly down to you.

Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling, and try to find time to be intimate together, without progressing to penetration.

It’s hard getting into the mood when you’re worrying that your baby may need you at any minute so make use of offers to baby-sit.

Postnatal depression is common so ask your health visitor or GP about this, and also ask your GP for a check-up.

Could I be pregnant again just weeks after giving birth?

I was bleeding for three weeks after having my baby. I then stopped for about a week. I then had a period, but it’s now been four weeks since my last period. Me and my boyfriend have always used contraception as we don't want another baby yet. Could I be pregnant?

Dr Rob says: although some women stop bleeding a week or so after giving birth, others bleed on and off for as long as six weeks. Trying to do too much can trigger bleeding to start again after it had initially stopped, so your bleeding four weeks ago could have been related to this. Breastfeeding delays the return of periods, and some types of contraception make periods irregular. Ask your doctor about whether this may be the reason for you, and consider doing a pregnancy test to be sure.

How soon after giving birth can I have the contraceptive injection?

Dr Rob says: the contraceptive injection is usually given about six weeks after giving birth because waiting until this time appears to make the problems with heavy bleeding that it can cause less likely to occur. If periods have returned then giving it during the first five days of your menstrual cycle means you are protected from pregnancy straight away. If it’s given after this time it will take seven days to become effective.

It can be given as early as three weeks after giving birth. If it’s given before the 21st day after giving birth it’s effective immediately. If it’s given later than the 21st day after giving birth it takes up to seven days to become effective.

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Thirza Ashelford answers your parenting questions

Alison Brown answers your bump, birth and baby questions

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Published August 2008, reviewed October 2008