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Thirza Ashelford

Thirza Ashelford

Childcare expert

My name is Thirza Ashelford and I was until recently principal of Norland College, which is internationally-renowned for training nannies and placing them with families all over the world. Our graduates also work in nurseries, maternity hospitals, schools and many of them go on to become teachers themselves.


I trained at Norland in the early 1970s so have been a Norlander all my working life. After working as a nanny in London for a few years, I spent the next 7 years working in Local Authority Day Nurseries in London and then in Somerset. After the birth of my two sons I worked as a childminder and was involved in setting up the local childminder group as well as working for the National Childminding Association where I wrote information books and leaflets, including “Minding Children with Special Needs”.


Going back to work had to fit in with home and family and I was fortunate to be offered a job in a school for children with severe learning difficulties, which I loved. But then an even more exciting opportunity came my way and I opened the first workplace nursery for Somerset County Council – what a dream: setting up your own nursery with someone else’s money! Eventually I moved into education; for the last 18 years I have been teaching early years students, joining Norland College again as principal three years ago.
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Thirza's hottest topics


Thirza's answers

how young is to young??

Asked by charmed1234.
hi i just wanted some oppinions on how young is to young to have a baby. the problem im facing at the moment is that i love babies and children and know that i would make a fantastic mother and currently trying to fight my motherly instincts as im 18. im finding it increasingly difficult to fight back the feeling that i should be pregnant and having a baby the same as other people around me and am becoming increasingly emotional about the situation. i no im only 18 but having been having periods for 10 years this year and if i had been 15 at the time 25 years old would make more sense so i cant help but think that this has something to do with it. if anyone would like to offer me some advice as how to handle the situation i would reli appreciate it
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Mum doesnt seem happy

Asked by AndreaUK21.
I am so depressed. I know my mum wasnt best pleased when she found out my fiance and I were trying for a baby but I thought she'd try and be a little more positive once it happened. I am 21 and my fiance is 25, we have been together a little over 2 years. My mum is worried for us financially and says we are a bit too young and haven't 'lived' enough yet. But we are happy with the way we are, we don't do too bad financially and we are very happy to be parents and feel we can still 'live' while we are parents and after the kid has grown up and started its own adult life. My mum hurt me today because I said I was due August and she was supposed to be going on holiday around then! Charming, so your grandchild is less important than a holiday!!?? It really hurt. My mum moans so much and stresses so much about everything ALL the time, it really gets me down :o( I can understand her having concerns as she is my mum but she is so blunt and hurtful some times.
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***Please help - tantrum trouble!!!***

Asked by muttley07.
my 20 month old son is having terrible tantrums. he makes such a fuss when he is told not to do something. i dont shout. i will simply say "no" or "you shouldnt be doing that" etc etc.. i try to be as calm as possible with him because he gets himself in such a state. it is really embarassing. he'll scream and go on all fours and bang his head on the floor or bang it on the wall or sometimes even smack himself in the head!?! obviously after doing this he cries hysterically. im trying 2 ignore it but i feel so cruel as its been a couple weeks now and he's still doing it, probably 3-4 times a day. anyone else's child go through this "phase"? or any ideas what i should do..? please help! xx
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i am a bad mother :(

Asked by miramelsayed.
my name is mira am 30yrs odl,married , i have a 3 yrs old boy , i 'm in a real mess with him. i'm the worst mom . i don't know how to deal with him anymore. he is crying all the time . doesn't listnen to anything i say. it was my mistake from the very begining: am a working mother and his father is working all day long , he doesn't see him expet 2 days a week . i feel am on my own . i 'm beating him, shouting saying bad words to him ,am not patient at all . if feel that i don't deserve to be a mother i really hate my self . i wish to have a good relationship with my only son . he is nervous too , beating me and the other kids , he is always shouting and screaming. he likes my sister and dad . they are spoiling him my mother passedaway 14years ago :( this was a little about me .........please i really need help. i really want to be a good mother . i m scared my son will hate me and never love me L:(
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Mother in laws...

Asked by princesslola.
Do anybody else live with theirs and sick of holding their tongues? I live with mine and since throughout my pregnancy got told not to tell the baby she wasnt wanted! As if i`d do that?! and that I shouldnt find out the sex as she didn`t think it was right as we should be happy with what we got which we didnt care either way wether she was a girl or a boy and also continuesly talked about people giving birth to still borns etc. Now i`ve had carmen its worse she had a go at me about putting carmen a coat on before I take her out which I was about to do as would never take her out in just a t shirt. Everything I do im just being constantly critised. I worked in a nursery for 2/3 years and babysat for a friend. I`ve always looked after kids yet still being treated as if I don`t know anything at all I just wanna scream. Wondered if anyone is having the same issues and fancy a rant lol
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OH refuses to do nightime!!! HELP!!

Asked by nellie1989.
My LO's 8 days old today. and OH hasn't done one single nightime feed since we got home (when he was 3 days old). I woke him up last night to do it, and he got so hacked off. He sat up and told our son to shut up!! he wasn't even crying, just letting us know he was hungry! He then spends the day moaning at me for being tired!! I feel like a single mum at night. He doesn't do dirty nappies during the day. He'll do wet ones, but not pooey ones. He even had the cheek to say to me the other day that he doesn't think I'd cope if I had my LO by myself! I had a weepy moment yesterday afternoon, and although he gave me a hug, he told me to cheer up afterwards! I love my son so much, and I know his daddy loves him too, but he just wont do the tricky bits! (Like the pooey nappies, the nightime feeds, the cuddles when he cries etc) I said we need to talk last night, that's my plan for today. I just have NO idea what to say! Help! =[
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Because of the volume of posts our experts get, we’re afraid not all questions will be answered (although our experts will do the best they can). The good news is your posts will not only be published here, but will also be published in our general chat forum, so gurgle members can help you out with your query. 
 
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